Carbon Market Bailout Announced

Washington, D.C. November 18th, 2014 - MSM News - Today U.S. Treasury Secretary Lawrence Summers was on Capitol Hill to push for his 1400 billion dollar bailout for several major banks involved in the sub-prime carbon storage crisis. "We cannot let critical environmental initiatives suffer because of the weaknesses of one sector." he argued.
The sub-prime carbon storage crisis was precipitated when Brazilian authorities abruptly reassessed the valuations of thousands of parcels of sequestered rainforest. There had been claims for years that the parcels were overvalued and allegations of conflicts of interest with the World Carbon Bank that sets the valuations, but the move by Brasilia was a surprise to many. As a result, said Summers, "many large banks in the U.S. with carbon structured investment vehicles are unable to determine what percent of such holdings are tainted by sub-prime carbon sequesters."

In other news, U.S. President Dick Cheney urged Americans to "stay the course" in the war in Turkmenistan, and not lose sight of the goals simply because of a few setbacks in military operations in Nigeria, Afghanistan, and Iraq. "We have to hang tough" he urged, speaking to a Rose Garden gathering of Tea-Partiers-for-Freedom at the White House today... read more at: MSM-News.com